Setting a man up to win is telling him what would make you happy, and inviting him to please you. Not demanding: inviting. When a woman demands, a man only has two choices: he can submit and comply (not a win), or he can rebel (not a win either). Inviting would be something like: “Honey, it would
Men generally thrive on wins; they need a lot of them. It’s not at all that they’re frail creatures who need to be pumped up; it’s how they’re put together. And there’s great value in it. When a man is happy at work, feels effective, get successes, that’s a win. Each new client, each sale, each
Unproductive habits include waiting for him to read our mind, making him wrong for not doing so, and punishing him for it. Some couples really have stamina and can do this for years on end. Their communication consists of bickering, unresolved fights, lobbing emotional grenades at each other because they’re not ‘getting their needs met’.
Most communications can have one of two impacts: they can bring people closer together, or create distance. Too often we don’t think about that before we speak, nor do we develop habits that are conducive to more effective communication. In heterosexual communication, there are specific ways for women to communicate more effectively with men. (Stay
John Gray has just published his 17th book. He and I agree about men wanting to make women happy, especially when women appreciate and thank them. We also agree that women benefit from giving men opportunities to be successful. ‘Set him up to win’, is how I describe it. He is not available for counseling
Don’t do it in the dark! You know what I’m talking about. Don’t deprive yourself, or your partner, of part of the experience. 🙂 Don’t hide your body, ladies. Part of Erotic Integrity is owning your body. And look at each other. If it’s dark, you can’t see each other. That’s fun once in a