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I just found out that I was voted best sex therapist of 2023 by the Pacific Sun readers. Thank you! This isn’t the first time. I think it first happened in 2017. It’s always a welcome surprise and ego boost, even if there is a large underlying marketing component to the whole endeavor. It got
Unconditional love, or Personality vs the person Personality is the assemblage of defense mechanism, sometimes armor, that we develop early in life as a result of intolerable emotional pain. It’s a way that we disconnect from our authenticity. These defense mechanisms become a personality structure, sometimes diagnosable via a label from the DSM (Diagnostic &
In the 30 yrs since I became a sex therapist I have seen frustrated, sad, confused people who lie in bed at night next to a mate they feel estranged from, not knowing how to bridge the gap. They want to reconnect but are at a loss for how to do so. And then they
I know you may have heard me, either in my office, on the radio, or in my writings, mention the difference between desire vs arousal. But it bears repeating. Here is my brief video description of the difference. I try to offer this lens as a more compassionate approach. People often come in to sex
Sex is good. Sex is healthy. Sex is an essential part of our social fabric. And you — specifically — should probably be having more of it. Americans, in the midst of a loneliness epidemic, are not having enough sex. Across almost every demographic group, American adults old and young, single and coupled, rich and
Part of Erotic Integrity is exploring where you are on the Kinsey scale. This is what my friend Tom did recently. I don’t usually do guest posts, but here is what he had to say about it: Zero to Six, where are you on the Kinsey Scale? I had never given my own sexual identity
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