The Attacker, Defender, Pursuer or Withdrawer – which are you?
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Totally normal thoughts to have before sex
When we are naked and aroused is when we are most vulnerable. So if you have nervous thoughts, it means you’re feeling vulnerable. Being intimate with someone can be kinda scary, especially if you’re dating a new boo or don’t have much sexual experience. Your partner is probably nervous too, so try to chill your nerves and focus on the parts of intimacy that you both enjoy!
If you’ve been with a new lover several times and you’re not getting into your groove and feeling more comfortable and confident, it might be a good idea to reflect on what’s really going on. Take note of how you feel before, during and after sex with this person and remember that you never have to do anything you don’t want to.
The most important thing to remember is that nervous thoughts are normal, and if all goes well, they should not persist.
Relationship Quotes You Can Apply to Your Own Life
“It takes half as long as the relationship lasted, to get over it after the breakup.”
In other words, if you were together four years, it’ll take you two years to fully recover. People don’t like to hear this, but Claudia Six, Ph.D., clinical sexologist and relationship coach, says it’s true. “You may lick your wounds for a bit, get back into online dating, go on dates and may even have sex with someone, but deep down you’ll be comparing them to the old love, for better or worse,” she says. “And on special occasions (birthday, special anniversaries, Valentine’s Day) you’ll be sad and pining a little…for half as long as the relationship lasted. Then you’ll be fine.”
“Women grieve and men replace, after a breakup.”
According to Dr. Six, this one is so true. “Women tend to take the time to grieve, try to learn from the experience, spend some time with girlfriends and re-focusing on themselves, before getting into the next relationship, while men tend to bounce into the next relationship pretty quickly,” she says. “It’s not good or bad, it’s just a different way of moving on after a relationship ends.”
“You can slow a man down but you cannot speed him up”
This one is an original by Dr. Six, borne of personal experience. And she claims it is never more true than when it pertains to big decisions, like getting married or having a child. “A man will be ready when he’s ready—until then, he’s not,” she says. “If you don’t want to wait that long, that’s certainly your call, but there’s no point in trying to speed him up.”
“Mettre de l’eau dans son vin”
This popular French saying pertains to marriage, and translates to “put water in your wine.” “While it’s meant to allude that you put water in his wine to dilute it and decrease deleterious effects, it also means to compromise, make concessions and be reasonable, to avoid unpleasant consequences if one doesn’t,” says Dr. Six. “In other words, to tone down any aggressive feelings in order to achieve better results and more harmony.”
Paris Eiffel Tower goes pink for breast cancer awareness month
Paris found a way of creating beauty out of a painful disease which decimated a number of my loved ones with their Octobre Rose illumination of the Eiffel Tower.
Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM), also referred to in America as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM), is an annual international health campaign organized by major breast cancer charities every October to increase awareness of the disease and to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. The campaign also offers information and support to those affected by breast cancer.
Breast cancer awareness month is a yearly campaign that intend educate people about the importance of early screening, test and more. This campaign starts on October 1st and ends on October 31st every year.
My interview on The Sill Podcast
The best way to make babies, how to raise kids with Erotic Integrity, the difference between sexuality, sensuality & eroticism: all on The Sill Podcast in Canada.
Reconnecting With Your Lover
Claudia Six, PhD, Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Coach, www.drsix.net and author of Erotic Integrity.
Here’s a piece I wrote for an outfit out of Australia. Making sex happen down under.
When sex fades in a relationship, happens less and less frequently to not at all, there’s a very good reason why. When things get gummed up in bed, there’s always a way that it makes perfect sense. You can try tricks and toys, but you also need to open your mouth, and talk – to each other, not your best friend.
Talk about what sex represents for you (connection, release, a way to get to sleep, a spiritual event…). It’s ok if you have different answers – you’re different people.
Ask each other what you haven’t been saying, the stuff you’ve been afraid to tell your partner because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings. This is the time to be candid. Having difficult conversations actually has the most potential to boost intimacy and eroticism in a relationship.
