Jenn Sinrich quoted me in her article on classpass.com:
‘I’ve got your back’
Whether it’s going to a social networking event or holiday party where your partner knows few people and feels uncertain, or going to a family event where there’s been some strain between your mother and your beloved, or whether it’s to show a united parenting front for your kids, this sentence will strengthen your relationship. “It makes your partner feel supported and shows him or her that you’re a team, which is crucial,” Claudia Six, Ph.D., sexologist, relationship coach and author of Erotic Integrity: How to Be True to Yourself Sexually, says.
‘How was your day?’
Ask your partner how their day was, and genuinely listen and care. Too often we focus on our day, on what happened to us, what was wrong with us. But our partner has things going on as well, and there are many times they have no one to express them too. “I think this is the most important question you can ask your partner because it gives you an accurate weather report about their state of mind, if they’re feeling empowered or beleaguered at work, inspired or stunted in their personal or creative expression, if they’re happy or not,” Dr. Six says. “Whether your partner stays at home or goes out to work, I recommend that this conversation happen daily.”
And remember to give each other your undivided attention and make eye contact—don’t multi-task. Respect your partner and focus on them. It might only take 15 minutes, but it’s 15 minutes that will go a long way to supporting your relationship and shows that you care and are interested.
These two simple words go a seriously long way when it comes to relationships of all kinds. Appreciation never goes out of style or gets unnoticed, and the more we appreciate, the more we’ll get from our partners to appreciate them for. “Thanking your partner once in the moment, and once again in an unrelated moment, conveys that you’re appreciative, that you’re still thinking about what he or she did or gave you,” Dr. Six explains. “Don’t pass up an opportunity to thank your beloved, for buying you a cup of coffee, picking a great hike or movie, for listening, for making dinner—every time, yes!—for taking you to Hawaii, etc.”
‘I love you.’
Whether it’s when you leave the house, to defuse a fight with a cranky partner or in the middle of sex, you can’t go wrong with “I love you”. Everybody likes to hear it and it’s a key reminder of why you’re together. “Expressing sexual desire with no pressure can be an effective way to initiate sex with no pressure,” Dr. Six says. Too often couples avoid affectionate touch because they don’t want to seem like the only time they touch their mate is for sex, or because they’re afraid that if they express affection their beloved will automatically assume they want sex and then they’ll feel obligated to follow through on something they may not be into. So inviting your partner to be sensual together with no strings—and it really has to be no strings (otherwise they’ll know and it’ll backfire)—is a way to get closer…and possibly get it on.