Many times in my practice, clients have asked me how you know whether to stay in a relationship or go. Here is some of what I share with people at those difficult times.
Setting your man up to win might also sound like: “Sweetie, it would really make me happy if we had a date night at that French restaurant this Friday; I could wear my new dress and you’d look so handsome in that suit we got you last year. Would you be willing to make a reservation for
I got married in 2010. We wrote our vows separately and surprised each other with them. I had been jotting things down over a period of months, and one thing kept coming up for me: my beloved has zero tolerance for being made wrong. It just doesn’t work for us. The first thing that I committed to
Setting a man up to win is telling him what would make you happy, and inviting him to please you. Not demanding: inviting. When a woman demands, a man only has two choices: he can submit and comply (not a win), or he can rebel (not a win either). Inviting would be something like: “Honey, it would
Men generally thrive on wins; they need a lot of them. It’s not at all that they’re frail creatures who need to be pumped up; it’s how they’re put together. And there’s great value in it. When a man is happy at work, feels effective, get successes, that’s a win. Each new client, each sale, each
Unproductive habits include waiting for him to read our mind, making him wrong for not doing so, and punishing him for it. Some couples really have stamina and can do this for years on end. Their communication consists of bickering, unresolved fights, lobbing emotional grenades at each other because they’re not ‘getting their needs met’.