When you set a man up to win, it doesn’t mean that you lose. On the contrary. When you can increase a man’s sense of his manhood (and I’m not just talking about sex here) (but that too), his self‐esteem blossoms, he feels empowered, and better able to get the ‘win’. Men have binary brains: Read More
Build your man up
Build your man up, set him up to win. There are women who take men down, and those who build them up. You know who you are. It’s OK. We’re all doing the best we know how. Man bashing is an insidious message we get from the culture. It’s not overt necessarily; it’s subtle, but Read More
Getting our needs met
Unproductive habits include waiting for him to read our mind, making him wrong for not doing so, and punishing him for it. Some couples really have stamina and can do this for years on end. Their communication consists of bickering, unresolved fights, lobbing emotional grenades at each other because they’re not ‘getting their needs met’. Read More
How to talk to men
Most communications can have one of two impacts: they can bring people closer together, or create distance. Too often we don’t think about that before we speak, nor do we develop habits that are conducive to more effective communication. In heterosexual communication, there are specific ways for women to communicate more effectively with men. (Stay Read More
Love them into presence
Don’t make someone wrong if they are upsetting you, or behaving in a way that is difficult for you. LOVE THEM INTO PRESENCE. Find the best in them, see their fears, figure out why they are behaving the way they are, how it makes perfect sense. And then love them through it. Help them to Read More
Mars & Venus
John Gray has just published his 17th book. He and I agree about men wanting to make women happy, especially when women appreciate and thank them. We also agree that women benefit from giving men opportunities to be successful. ‘Set him up to win’, is how I describe it. He is not available for counseling Read More