So many times during my 30+ year career and 50+ year life, I have been reminded that things work out. It’s hard to remember when we’re heartbroken and hopeless, but they really always do.
Bob and Suzie were both in a lot of pain and came to see me with seemingly unresolvable differences. We identified the issues, ineffective behaviors, emotional buttons, communication stalls… They nonetheless decided to divorce, though with a much better understanding of their difficulties and with less acrimony than they might otherwise have. A few years later I ran into him at the grocery store. Turns out they bought houses across the street from each other, they’re both in new thriving relationships, the kids go back and forth, everyone is happy. Things work out.
Jasper was a virgin in his thirties who had never dated but wanted a family. He learned how to write an ad, develop his dating skills, be discerning, get clear about what kind of mate he wanted. Then he fell in love with a tall beautiful brunette , and had to tell her his circumstances, which he did courageously. She accepted him lovingly. They’re now married with two beautiful boys. Things work out.
Annalise and Mitchell had been married 17 years, with a 15 year old daughter. Mitchell had lost his job and gone into a deep and prolonged depression, and disappeared as a husband. Annalise was the breadwinner and ran the household and the family, though she resented it. After some individual therapy, appropriate medication, and couples therapy, he came back to life. His wife wanted to rekindle their sexual relationship. Bridges had to be mended, fears (on both sides) had to be overcome, and they rose to the occasion, reconnecting on a whole new and deeper level, due to the adversity they had weathered together. Things work out.
Obviously these scenarios are simplified and identifying information disguised, but they happened to real clients of mine. I could write hundreds of these, because really, things do work out.
You have to trust.
