Positive Sandwich
When giving a man feedback, give him the ‘positive sandwich’: you start with a positive (“I love how you…”), give him the constructive criticism (“And it would make me even happier if…”), and end with a positive (“You’re such a wonderful…(lover, cook, father, planner)”).
Men have a single-focus brain
When you want to talk to a man, pick an opportune time, a time that will set you both up for success. Men’s brains are single‐focused ‐ in other words, they’re best‐suited to only focusing on one thing at a time. Women tend to have multi‐tasking brains. Again, neither is better; it’s just different, and serves different purposes. […]
Thank him: it’s a win
When you thank him, that’s a win for him, and he will want to do what pleases you again, so that you are pleased again. Never underestimate the impact of praising and thanking a man, with a smile and direct eye contact, whether it’s your mate, a busboy in a restaurant, the guy helping you at the […]
Thank him: up one side and down the other
Here’s another important piece: when a man does something that pleases you…thank him! Several times. Thank him in the moment, and be specific about what pleased you (it made you feel cared for, it helped you somehow…). And thank him again later, in an unrelated moment: “Remember when you complimented me on my outfit? That made me feel […]
Men have binary brains
When you set a man up to win, it doesn’t mean that you lose. On the contrary. When you can increase a man’s sense of his manhood (and I’m not just talking about sex here) (but that too), his self‐esteem blossoms, he feels empowered, and better able to get the ‘win’. Men have binary brains: […]
Getting our needs met
Unproductive habits include waiting for him to read our mind, making him wrong for not doing so, and punishing him for it. Some couples really have stamina and can do this for years on end. Their communication consists of bickering, unresolved fights, lobbing emotional grenades at each other because they’re not ‘getting their needs met’. […]
