Men have binary brains: every situation is either a win or a lose. It’s not wrong. It’s just one of the ways that men are not women. Men generally thrive on wins; they need a lot of them. It’s not at all that they’re frail creatures who need to be pumped up; it’s how they’re put together. And there’s great value in it. When a man is happy at work, feels effective, get successes, that’s a win. Each new client, each sale, each happy customer, each time his supervisor praises him, he’s a winner. It’s similar in relationships. Setting a man up to win is telling him what would make you happy, and inviting him to please you. Not demanding: inviting.