SIX because that’s my name and I had to pick a number. Sex myths abound and as we start off the year I thought I’d tackle a few of them which seem to persist in my practice.
*If you don’t want to read about myths but do want to save money on my 8 session package, skip to #6.
#1: everyone is having more sex than you. Truly, probably not.
When I started my career, 30 years ago, most of my clients made more money than me, drove nicer cars than I did, and had more sex than I did. I was in a position to know.
What really matters is whether you’re having enough sex for you, regardless of what you imagine the neighbours are doing. Is the frequency working for you and your lover? Sometimes it works for one and not the other. Then we have a conversation about desire, initiating, performance anxiety, or whatever else might be getting in the way.
#2: Desire should ‘just happen’, ‘naturally’. This is one of the biggest and most persisting sex myths. I call this people expecting divine intervention. That’s not how it works. For more on desire, watch my little soapbox video here
#3: The vagina is all there is to women’s sexual organs: not! The vulva is on the outside, the vagina is on the inside. Unless you have a flashlight and a speculum and you’ve hung out with Annie Sprinkle, you’ve never seen a vagina. What you’ve seen in the much overlooked, though much enjoyed, vulva. The part with the frilly lips and the juicy opening, just below the little hood under which the clitoris hides. Which leads us to #4.
#4: “Sex” means penis-vagina penetration. This is a term I have to clarify early on with clients. That’s rather unimaginative folks. And that set-up is not optimal for women to orgasm: the intermittent contact with the clitoris will leave a woman frustrated at best, disinclined to partake further at worst. You still hands and mouths and your creativity, as well as toys.
#5: Sex is all over when a woman hits menopause. Another sex myth that is deleterious to older couples’ sexuality. Menopause can actually be the beginning of a freeing time for women: no more need for birth control, increased body awareness and acceptance reduces inhibitions, more of a voice to speak their desires… more on menopause
#6: sex therapy shouldn’t cost much. In therapy, as in many other important areas of life, you get what you pay for. I hear the horror stories, I know. And I have a therapist myself whose fee I’m happy to pay. This is definitely not something you want to scrimp on; it’ll backfire on you. It can be more cost effective in the long run, saving you medical or divorce expenses.
That’s why I’m raising my fee to match the 8.7% cost of living increase. HOWEVER, before I do so, I’m offering a discount on the eight session discounted package as follows:
Current price of the 8 session discounted package: $3310. Until Feb 1: $3000. After Feb 1: $3600. Email me to book this as I’ll need to do so manually.
-you don’t have to use them all at once. If you feel that you’re doing better after 6 sessions, say, and you want to take a break: great! The remaining 2 sessions will be in the bank for you for when you hit a speedbump in your relationship and need a tune-up.
-If you change your mind and only use a portion of them, this package is not eligible for reimbursement. So be sure you want to work with me before you buy. (And if you haven’t worked with me and want to have a free consult, click here: https://drsix.net/services/free-15-minute-sex-relationship-consultation/)