Every once in a while I tell my clients what I call ‘Basic Truths’ – stuff I don’t make up but that is inherently true. Here are a few of them:
- If you want to be seen, you have to show yourself. Makes sense.
- Similarly, if you want to be heard …you have to speak up!
- If you make someone wrong, it’s because you got triggered. No matter how wrong they may or may not be, what happened is that your buttons got pushed. And that is what is relevant. Making others wrong is a defensive reaction.
- When you defend you’ve already lost. You never need to defend yourself, except in a court of law. So when you defend yourself in everyday life, you’re essentially putting yourself one step down, and trying to elevate yourself back to the level of the other person.
- People always give you information about themselves. When someone says “You’re too sensitive, you’re too thin”, they mean “You’re too sensitive for them! They’re telling you what they are comfortable with. They’re not giving you information about you. You’re just fine!
- Erotic Integrity™ is a lifelong journey. Sexuality is not static. It evolves over the course of a lifetime, and people discover things about themselves at all ages. I love having clients in their seventies uncover new aspects of their eroticism, own it, and embrace it.
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