Dr Claudia Six

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Journalists and bloggers consult Dr. Claudia Six about sex, relationships, and erotic integrity. Want to interview Dr. Six for your publication? Download her one-sheet here.
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Roadblocks Holding You Back from the Best Sex of Your Life

Expecting your partner to read your mind

If you want your partner to do something or stop doing something, the best way to see that this happens is to tell them. “Persisting in wanting your partner to read your mind is a set-up,” warns Claudia Six, Ph.D., clinical sexologist and relationship coach. “You have to open your mouth, be vulnerable and speak to your lover. Vulnerability is part of what makes sex good.”

Being a perfectionist

You might be type A in your regular life, but during sex, it’s best that you let loose and go with the flow. “Being attached to things happening a certain way—having it like on your first night together (although that doesn’t always go so smoothly) or on your wedding night—is a sure way to prevent it from being perfect,” says Dr. Six. “The best sex, just like a lot of things in life, happens when you’re open and go with whatever is happening in the moment.”

Certain medications

There is a plethora of medications and substances out there that can cause sexual dysfunction, from antidepressants to amphetamines—even alcohol and marijuana. Additionally, some birth control varieties can cause your libido to plummet. “If you or your partner is on a medication that reduces your libido or makes it very difficult for you to orgasm, talk to your doctor about switching to one that doesn’t impact your sex life negatively,” says Dr. Six.

read full article in WeddingWire

Things You Should Never Do Before Sex

Take an antihistamine

Allergy season is tough, and, for some, can feel like it’s year round. While you might be reliant on your allergy meds, experts recommend avoiding popping antihistamines of any kind before sex. “They dry everything out, including your lady parts,” says Claudia Six, PhD, clinical sexologist and relationship coach. You’ll want to be fully lubricated for a full romp session, however, Dr. Six points out that you don’t want to be sneezing and tearing up the whole time either. She recommends taking half an allergy pill, if you must, a few hours before you think you might have sex.

read full article on Glam.com

Why It’s OK Not To Masturbate If You Don’t Want To

I contributed to this article last December, but since May is National Masturbation Month, I saved it for now:

“When it comes to sex, there are no shoulds, beyond the basics: safe sex, consent, not doing harm,” clinical sexologist and relationship coach Claudia Six, PhD, author of Erotic Integrity: How To Be True To Yourself Sexually, tells Bustle. “So if you don’t want to masturbate, nobody in the world can pressure, shame, coerce you to do so. Period. And there is such a thing as Basic Sexual Rights, which state that ‘the human rights of women include their right to have control over and decide freely and responsibly on matters related to their sexuality, including sexual and reproductive health, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.’ That includes not doing anything you don’t want to do, regardless of what others may think.”

Read full article in Bustle

Is Sneezing Really Like Having A Mini Orgasm?

People are tempted to compare sneezing and orgasm because both are a brief release. I think the similarity ends there.

The main difference is that, while many people think you have to do both with your eyes closed, you can orgasm with your eyes open (and I highly recommend it for increasing eroticism and intimacy) but you cannot sneeze with your eyes open. It’s allergy season; try it!

see article in Refinery 29

Things You Do and Don’t Need to Know About Your Partner While Dating

You Should Know:

If he’s on good terms with his exes.

This is certainly not a conversation you’re likely itching to bring up, but understanding the basics of what went down in his past relationships—especially how they ended—can teach you a lot about him. “If your partner is friends with his exes, it shows he’s skilled in conflict resolution, which is a nice feature in a partner,” explains Claudia Six, Ph.D., a relationship coach. “If he has loose ends with past lovers, of the kind that might have him running back to the ex and leaving you feeling rejected, this is something you should know as well.”

If you have a connection.

As Dr. Six points out, it’s important to find a partner you connect with on more than just an emotional level (although that’s important, too). This might be a topic that unravels naturally—i.e. physically—but it may require some digging around and even straight-up inquiring. “This is a topic to be broached gently. Not too soon, but not too late,” she says.

Read full story in Martha Stewart Weddings

What You Can Learn About Your Partner from the People in His Life

No matter how well you think you know your partner after all the time you’ve spent together, you don’t really understand their full story until you’ve met the important people in his or her life. Getting to know your partner’s family and friends introduces you to a host of childhood memories, family stories, and traditions that are important to the person that you love, explains relationship coach Claudia Six, Ph.D. “It allows you to get to know your so from a different perspective and on a deeper level,” she adds.
From his friends…

“If they’re high school or college friends, you learn that he is capable of long term relationships that survive the test of time,” explains Dr. Six. “You learn that he is loyal, not fickle and that he picks loyal friends who maintain relationships.” You also get a sense of his ability to commit to others—something that may foreshadow his ability to commit to you. “If they’re friends from work, you may find out that he has leadership skills you weren’t aware of,” Dr. Six adds, or perhaps why he’s so exhausted after a day at the office. Is he so focused that he never takes a lunch break? Did he have a major presentation at work that he feels he didn’t perform well? Understanding the dynamics of his work life and friends can be beneficial in helping you understand why he acts the way he acts when he comes home to you.

From his exes…

You’re probably not hoping for the opportunity to run into his girlfriend from high school or college, and he’s probably not hoping to introduce you. But learning about the kinds of relationships he’s had before you—how they treated him and how he treated them—can teach you a lot about the kind of partner he is today. If you do get the chance to come face-to-face with an ex, broach any topics involving your partner gently, not confrontationally. “You may compare notes and feel validated in some of the things you struggle with in your mate, and have a bonding chuckle over it,” says Dr. Six. Or you may find that he hasn’t been entirely truthful about the details he’s shared with you.

From his mother…

The ideal scenario is that your partner has a loving and healthy relationship with his mom—even if he’s a “Mama’s boy.” This only shows that he respects women and that he’ll likely respect you the same. “If, on the other hand, his mother is overbearing and intrusive, it’ll explain your partner’s strong need for privacy and space,” explains Dr. Six. “From the stories she tells of him as a child, you’ll know whether or not he felt safe and cherished, or neglected.” Both can tell you a lot about him.

From his father…

The relationship between a father and son is a fragile one. If he’s close with his father, and his father supports him in his decisions, he likely feels that support and it has helped him develop into the person he is today. If his father puts a great deal of pressure on him to be everything that his father is—or never was—it may explain his internal struggles. “If you plan on having kids, this may give you a sense of what kind of parent your spouse will be,” says Dr. Six. “We tend to reproduce what we know, or make sure we do the opposite and give our kids what we didn’t get.”

Read full article in Martha Stewart Weddings

 

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