If you have a difficult time reaching orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone, it’s nothing you or your partner should feel bad about. In fact, it’s totally normal. “People are still buying into this myth that orgasms through penetration are better in some way,” says San Francisco–area sexologist and relationship coach Claudia Six, PhD, author of Erotic Integrity: How to Be True to Yourself Sexually. “But the truth is that intercourse is not designed to trigger orgasms or produce significant stimulation for women.”
That’s why “99.99% of women” need attention paid to their clitoris—the nerve-dense organ with an extremely sensitive head nestled between the labia—in order to climax, says Six. There’s only one problem: Not all sex positions trigger a lot of clitoral stimulation on their own, or make it easy for either partner to provide hands-on help.
Luckily, the following moves really do hit the spot, and adding them to your repertoire can make sex more orgasmic for all parties involved. “The clitoris is the only body part designed purely for pleasure,” says Six, “so I say make the most of it!”
Sit on the edge of the bed and lie back, then have your partner stand between your legs, facing you; he can hold your legs or prop them on his shoulders. “This position is great because you can make eye contact with each other, and there are two to four hands available—yours and possibly his—to stimulate the clitoris without interfering with anything else going on,” says Six. “It’s also great for people who are older, overweight, or injured, since everyone is supporting their own weight.
Tabletop is also a perfect position for using a vibrator during sex, if you want a little extra clitoral stimulation. “In some other positions, you can really only use a small vibrator or none at all,” Six says. “But in tabletop, even if you want to pull out your full-size Magic wand, there’s room for it.”
Six also recommends having your partner enter you from behind while spooning you. “It’s another position where there’s plenty of access to the clitoris, where either you can reach down or your partner can reach around,” she says. Bend your top leg and open your legs to allow for more manual stimulation. It may also feel good to squeeze your legs together while he’s inside you.