If you have a difficult time reaching orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone, it’s nothing you or your partner should feel bad about. In fact, it’s totally normal. “People are still buying into this myth that orgasms through penetration are better in some way,” says San Francisco–area sexologist and relationship coach Claudia Six, PhD, author of Erotic Integrity: How to Be True to Yourself Sexually. “But the truth is that intercourse is not designed to trigger orgasms or produce significant stimulation for women.”
That’s why “99.99% of women” need attention paid to their clitoris—the nerve-dense organ with an extremely sensitive head nestled between the labia—in order to climax, says Six. There’s only one problem: Not all sex positions trigger a lot of clitoral stimulation on their own nor make it easy for either partner to provide hands-on help.
Luckily, the following moves really do hit the spot, and adding them to your repertoire can make sex more orgasmic for all parties involved. “The clitoris is the only body part designed purely for pleasure,” says Six, “so I say make the most of it!”
Tabletop
Sit on the edge of the bed with your butt up against the edge (yes, like at the gynecologist’s, but without the crinkly paper under your ass and this is more fun) and lie back. Have your partner stand between your legs, facing you; he can hold your legs or prop them on his shoulders. “This position is great because you can make eye contact with each other, and there are two to four hands available—yours and possibly his—to stimulate the clitoris without interfering with anything else going on,” says Six. “It’s also great for people who are older, overweight, or injured, since everyone is supporting their own weight.”
Tabletop is also a perfect position for using a vibrator during sex, if you want a little extra clitoral stimulation. “In some other positions, you can really only use a small vibrator or none at all,” Six says. “But in tabletop, even if you want to pull out your full-size Magic wand, there’s room for it.”
Hands-on spooning
Six also recommends having your partner enter you from behind while spooning you. “It’s another position where there’s plenty of access to the clitoris, where either you can reach down or your partner can reach around,” she says. Bend your top leg and open your legs to allow for more manual stimulation. It may also feel good to squeeze your legs together while he’s inside you.
Rear entry, otherwise known as doggie style
The lady is on her hands and knees and her lover is penetrating her from behind. Her knees are either spread on either side of his knees. Or together. Either way there’s no obstruction to her clitoris for either of them to use fingers or a vibrator.
Hopefully she’s so into it that she lowers her chest to the bed, and thrusts her pelvis back to meet him, thus increasing her propensity for orgasm all the more.
Girl on top, otherwise known as cowgirl
The person with the penis lays on their back and the person being penetrated vaginally is on top, straddling. You can straddle on your knees, facing forward, facing backward, squatting like a porn star if your quads permit. This allows more control on the part of the woman on top, and again four hands for clitoral stimulation.
The captain
Where the woman is on her back with her legs straight up in a ‘V’ (a good hamstring stretch this one, ladies!) and the man is on his knees, with his knees spread and crotch in proximity for thrusting.
The name comes from the man being in the leadership role, determining the rhythm and intensity, allowing him to call the shots in terms of depth and speed. Rather like a captain navigating a ship…I suppose.
This position allows for hands, and toys of significant size, if that’s what’s called for, for clitoral stimulation. Ahoy!
Enjoy!
