Confusing vulvas and vaginas
Vulvas, people! Vulvas!!! Not “vaginas”! Unless you have a speculum and a flashlight, a la Annie Sprinkle, you will never see a vagina! The outside lips are the vulva – the inside, past the gate, the warm dark wet part that you like to slide into, is the vagina. This is a pet peeve of […]
Sexual Compatibility
While it can be very painful to feel poorly matched sexually with your lover, many people are quick to claim poor sexual compatibility. Compatibility is not the same as mismatched libidos, which is about appetite for sex rather than what turns you on. Sexual compatibility has a lot more to do with people’s willingness to […]
Sexual Desire versus Arousal: It’s not the same thing!
Sexual desire is not the same thing as sexual arousal
Couples Relationship Spring Cleaning
Spring Clean your Relationship My husband suggested that, as a couples sex therapist, I put out a Relationship Spring Cleaning newsletter. I googled the term – turns out it’s not a novel concept. But here’s my take on it: *You get caught up in the hectic pace of life. It doesn’t take much investment of […]
SIX Questions to Create Intimacy
Too often long term couples stop talking to each other, as in “How are you really?”, and new couples tread lightly for fear of being vulnerable. Next time you’re on a date with someone new, or not so new, try these SIX questions to ask each other: 1. What does friendship mean to you? 2. […]
Dr SIX on DESIRE vs AROUSAL
Today’s blog is going to be a departure from my usual SIX tips for this, SIX reasons why that. DESIRE VERSUS AROUSAL is a topic that seems to be up a lot these days for my clients. So I thought I’d write about that. The popular media are forever confusing the two. I define desire as the […]
