While it can be very painful to feel poorly matched sexually with your lover, many people are quick to claim poor sexual compatibility. Compatibility is not the same as mismatched libidos, which is about appetite for sex rather than what turns you on. Sexual compatibility has a lot more to do with people’s willingness to Read More
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Sexual Desire versus Arousal: It’s not the same thing!
Sexual desire is not the same thing as sexual arousal
Couples Relationship Spring Cleaning
Spring Clean your Relationship My husband suggested that, as a couples sex therapist, I put out a Relationship Spring Cleaning newsletter. I googled the term – turns out it’s not a novel concept. But here’s my take on it: *You get caught up in the hectic pace of life. It doesn’t take much investment of Read More
SIX Questions to Create Intimacy
Too often long term couples stop talking to each other, as in “How are you really?”, and new couples tread lightly for fear of being vulnerable. Next time you’re on a date with someone new, or not so new, try these SIX questions to ask each other: 1. What does friendship mean to you? 2. Read More
Dr SIX on DESIRE vs AROUSAL
Today’s blog is going to be a departure from my usual SIX tips for this, SIX reasons why that. DESIRE VERSUS AROUSAL is a topic that seems to be up a lot these days for my clients. So I thought I’d write about that. The popular media are forever confusing the two. I define desire as the Read More
SIX BASIC TRUTHS ABOUT SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Every once in a while I tell my clients what I call ‘Basic Truths’ – stuff I don’t make up but that is inherently true. Here are a few of them: If you want to be seen, you have to show yourself. Makes sense. Similarly, if you want to be heard …you have to speak Read More