Couples get twisted up when they feel disconnected. That’s what couples argue most about, not money, sex, religion, kids, in laws… The pain of disconnection and not knowing how to reconnect is what is most deleterious to relationships.
So often people come in to see me and ask me: “what should I do, doc?”
Be grounded, calm, open hearted, receptive, connected.
Connected to yourself and your beloved.
There are a few things you can DO.
-communicate without blaming
-appreciate your mate, consistently
-look them in the eye, give them your undivided attention, and ask how they are. And listen.
-reveal yourself. Intimacy isn’t that sexy airbrushed thing. It’s ‘into-me-you-see. Show yourself because you want to be known, without the expectation of reciprocity.
All these require that you BE present.
There’s also Hugging Til Relaxed: stand a couple of feet apart from each other, close your eyes, ground yourself. When ready, open your eyes and look into your lover’s eyes. When you’re both ready, step forward and hug. Don’t talk.
There is so much information in how this hug takes place that we can unpack and shed light on your relationship.
None of it is about what you DO. It’s about how you BE.
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