I just found out that I was voted best sex therapist of 2023 by the Pacific Sun readers. Thank you! This isn’t the first time. I think it first happened in 2017. It’s always a welcome surprise and ego boost, even if there is a large underlying marketing component to the whole endeavor.
It got me thinking about what it means to be the best.
Like many things in my line of work, it’s an inside job. Being the best that I know how to be, out of personal integrity. To me that means being rigorous about being present with my clients. Being present with them, with me, and with the bigger picture of what they’re struggling with. It means being attuned to them emotionally.
After doing this for three decades I know better than to anticipate what will happen in a session. I show up and trust the process.
I hone the subtleties of my clinical skills with ongoing study, as well as continuing my own emotional development. I’m blessed to be in a profession where life makes you better at your job. Something I try to remember when life is kicking me in the ass. There’s always a silver lining.
And as I always say, sex therapy is rarely about sex. It’s about the bigger picture of how people show up in the world.