Setting a man up to win is telling him what would make you happy, and inviting him to please you. Not demanding: inviting. When a woman demands, a man only has two choices: he can submit and comply (not a win), or he can rebel (not a win either). Inviting would be something like: “Honey, it would Read More
relationships
Men need wins
Men generally thrive on wins; they need a lot of them. It’s not at all that they’re frail creatures who need to be pumped up; it’s how they’re put together. And there’s great value in it. When a man is happy at work, feels effective, get successes, that’s a win. Each new client, each sale, each Read More
Build your man up
Build your man up, set him up to win. There are women who take men down, and those who build them up. You know who you are. It’s OK. We’re all doing the best we know how. Man bashing is an insidious message we get from the culture. It’s not overt necessarily; it’s subtle, but Read More
Getting our needs met
Unproductive habits include waiting for him to read our mind, making him wrong for not doing so, and punishing him for it. Some couples really have stamina and can do this for years on end. Their communication consists of bickering, unresolved fights, lobbing emotional grenades at each other because they’re not ‘getting their needs met’. Read More
Love them into presence
Don’t make someone wrong if they are upsetting you, or behaving in a way that is difficult for you. LOVE THEM INTO PRESENCE. Find the best in them, see their fears, figure out why they are behaving the way they are, how it makes perfect sense. And then love them through it. Help them to Read More