Worried you won’t get turned on? Many people do, really. Arousal isn’t as spontaneous and natural as we might like.
Afraid he’ll lose interest if you don’t exhibit arousal? Garden variety performance anxiety isn’t just for guys. Women experience it just as much as men ~ it just looks different: watch my TEDx talk
Afraid she’ll take it personally if you don’t display arousal for her? It feels so very personal, but it’s not.
You’re not broken.
When people don’t feel arousal for sex in their crotch, they think something is wrong. It’s not. I can help you identify other sources of desire, to help you move towards your lover. And we can make sense of the things that get in the way of arousal. Desire and arousal are not the same thing.
People think that sexual arousal is a function of biological drive. That may sound sex positive, but it actually puts a lot of pressure on people. What’s going on between your ears is just as important as what’s going on between your legs.
Desire and arousal evolve over the course of a relationship. They’re not static.
Maybe you experience arousal for something you don’t feel comfortable telling your partner about. Afraid that what you want isn’t available with your mate? Let’s see if we can find a way to create a win-win, where everybody gets what they need.
It’s not that complicated. But it’s a big topic.
I offer sex therapy services to people in Marin County and the San Francisco Bay Area from my San Rafael office. We can work face to face, or via phone or Skype in you are not in the area. Tell me about yourself
Arousal concerns always make perfect sense. Think you might want to work with me? The first step is to make sure we’re a good fit. Contact me here