Unconditional love, or Personality vs the person
Personality is the assemblage of defense mechanism, sometimes armor, that we develop early in life as a result of intolerable emotional pain. It’s a way that we disconnect from our authenticity.
These defense mechanisms become a personality structure, sometimes diagnosable via a label from the DSM (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Examples include Narcissistic Personality disorder, which is a much overused and misunderstood term.
What I want to invite you to do is look beyond the personality and try and see the person. That is what I do.
In my opinion this is unconditional love. To truly see someone you can’t judge them. To accept them you have to see beyond their defense mechanisms.
People are not their personality.
If someone in your life is causing you relational difficulties or pain, learning what their ‘personality’ is about, and learning to work with it, along with your own, can be tremendously healing.
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