When you thank him, that’s a win for him, and he will want to do what pleases you again, so that you are pleased again. Never underestimate the impact of praising and thanking a man, with a smile and direct eye contact, whether it’s your mate, a busboy in a restaurant, the guy helping you at the Read More
communication
Thank him: up one side and down the other
Here’s another important piece: when a man does something that pleases you…thank him! Several times. Thank him in the moment, and be specific about what pleased you (it made you feel cared for, it helped you somehow…). And thank him again later, in an unrelated moment: “Remember when you complimented me on my outfit? That made me feel Read More
Men have binary brains
When you set a man up to win, it doesn’t mean that you lose. On the contrary. When you can increase a man’s sense of his manhood (and I’m not just talking about sex here) (but that too), his self‐esteem blossoms, he feels empowered, and better able to get the ‘win’. Men have binary brains: Read More
Getting our needs met
Unproductive habits include waiting for him to read our mind, making him wrong for not doing so, and punishing him for it. Some couples really have stamina and can do this for years on end. Their communication consists of bickering, unresolved fights, lobbing emotional grenades at each other because they’re not ‘getting their needs met’. Read More
How to talk to men
Most communications can have one of two impacts: they can bring people closer together, or create distance. Too often we don’t think about that before we speak, nor do we develop habits that are conducive to more effective communication. In heterosexual communication, there are specific ways for women to communicate more effectively with men. (Stay Read More
How to Talk to Men
Men have binary brains: every situation is either a win or a lose. It’s not wrong. It’s just one of the ways that men are not women. Men generally thrive on wins; they need a lot of them. It’s not at all that they’re frail creatures who need to be pumped up; it’s how they’re put together. And there’s great value in it. When a man is happy at work, feels effective, get successes, that’s a win. Each new client, each sale, each happy customer, each time his supervisor praises him, he’s a winner. It’s similar in relationships. Setting a man up to win is telling him what would make you happy, and inviting him to please you. Not demanding: inviting. Read More