Setting a man up to win is telling him what would make you happy, and inviting him to please you. Not demanding: inviting. When a woman demands, a man only has two choices: he can submit and comply (not a win), or he can rebel (not a win either). Inviting would be something like: “Honey, it would Read More
Archives for September 2010
Men need wins
Men generally thrive on wins; they need a lot of them. It’s not at all that they’re frail creatures who need to be pumped up; it’s how they’re put together. And there’s great value in it. When a man is happy at work, feels effective, get successes, that’s a win. Each new client, each sale, each Read More
Men have binary brains
When you set a man up to win, it doesn’t mean that you lose. On the contrary. When you can increase a man’s sense of his manhood (and I’m not just talking about sex here) (but that too), his self‐esteem blossoms, he feels empowered, and better able to get the ‘win’. Men have binary brains: Read More
Build your man up
Build your man up, set him up to win. There are women who take men down, and those who build them up. You know who you are. It’s OK. We’re all doing the best we know how. Man bashing is an insidious message we get from the culture. It’s not overt necessarily; it’s subtle, but Read More
Getting our needs met
Unproductive habits include waiting for him to read our mind, making him wrong for not doing so, and punishing him for it. Some couples really have stamina and can do this for years on end. Their communication consists of bickering, unresolved fights, lobbing emotional grenades at each other because they’re not ‘getting their needs met’. Read More
How to talk to men
Most communications can have one of two impacts: they can bring people closer together, or create distance. Too often we don’t think about that before we speak, nor do we develop habits that are conducive to more effective communication. In heterosexual communication, there are specific ways for women to communicate more effectively with men. (Stay Read More